Happy 4th everyone. As is our family tradition, we break out our toys, all purchased legally under the protection of the second amendment. Then we fire off a few rockets, launch a few grenades and charge through a few thousand rounds of ammo. It’s our way of saying, “We’re independent and proud of it!”
Not shown is our fine selection of M4’s (.223 assault rifles in full auto). Also not shown is our collection of old AK47’s, which are always good for plinking, though not nearly as accurate as our M4’s. As most of you know the M4 is the standard issue weapon for our boys in Iraq and Afghanistan. Hey, if its good enough for them its good enough for my kids and grandkids. My daughter sure loves hers.
That’s me on the upper left firing a new AT-4 (anti-tank rocket) at the range in Oroville. This is something you don’t want to shoot up close. I suggest you always aim about 1000 yards out (safety first). Unfortunately, the blast radius totally vaporized the next 6 six targets on either side of my OBL life size target. This came kinda as a surprise to the other shooters nearby. Okay…my bad, I forgot to say “fire in the hole” and since I didn’t warn them first, all the shooting suddenly stopped and they had this stunned look on thier faces. But, when I asked them if they were mad at me…they all said emphatically, no way! In fact some said they were very pleased that I blew up their targets and they said I could blow up their targets anytime I wanted too. See, shooters are nice people.
In case some of you haven’t shot the AT-4, they are much better than the old LAWS rocket. The At-4’s have a bigger punch and that makes them really lots of fun, especially if you have an old house or barn you want torn down. The downside is you only get one shot per launcher tube. And in recessionary times they could be considered a bit pricey. But, in our case I say what the heck…it’s the 4th so we bring em out so everyone can shoot at least one.
My grandson is shown on the right with his nifty M249 Bravo on full automatic. It fires 750 rounds per minute. It’s okay for kids, but personally I prefer my old Ma-duece aka M2HB. Nothing sends a message down range better than a 50 cal. And the effective range is over one mile! This is great for encouraging trespassers to leave your rural property. I would highly recommend the M2HB for ranchers in Arizona. You can mount them easily in your jeep.
So, how are you going to celebrate your 4th, ya got some sparklers? No, wait, sorry that is outlawed, too dangerous. Well, y-all come out to the range, we’ve got plenty of ammo!
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PS In case you are freaking out with undue concern…don’t! This article was a satire, a spoof, and nothing more. It’s just an in your face to the leftists who want my rifle and pistol. The weapons shown are all non-functioning plastic models and I used my digital drawing software to fix up the photos to make them look more real. No…I really don’t think citizens should have anti-tank rockets, but there’s no harm in owning a semi-auto with a 30 shot clip.. This is something liberals who hate guns have imposed on us and its absurd. It’s made criminals out of law abiding gun owners. So this 4th think of what 2nd amendment freedoms we have all lost and where we are headed, especially in California.