By Tina Grazier
Feminists took to the streets several decades ago shoving men aside with jeering disdain yelling, “chauvinist pig!” It wasn’t long until chivalry quietly took up residence in the closet. Over the years men have adjusted. They have learned not to jump in when a woman is present and in charge even if she is being bullied. Sadly, in some instances, males even look away when a woman or girl is being beaten or raped simply because they have not been taught to be chivalrous. In fact men are less likely to stop bullying of any kind with the advent of “tolerance” and “anger management” adopted as preferable methods of training. For all the so-called gains women have made to become significantly equal in the public square their methods for achieving these gains have come at a great cost to our society.
You can imagine my joy when I saw an article featuring Governor Chris Cristie today. He was present at a political event featuring Meg Whitman. During an unfortunate incident chivalry stepped out of the closet and Christie boldly took up the mantle:
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie got tough with a heckler Wednesday during a Los Angeles town hall meeting with California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman. ** Whitman, a Republican and the former CEO of eBay, was finishing her remarks when a man sitting in the front row stood up and began shouting. ** “What are you hiding?” he yelled. “You’re looking like Arnold [Schwarzenegger] in a dress.” ** Christie rose from his seat behind Whitman and confronted the man. ** “You want to yell-yell at me, but don’t give her a hard time,” Christie said as he came face-to-face with the man. ** “It’s people who raise their voices and yell and scream like you that are dividing this country, we’re here to bring this country together-not to divide it,” Christie added.
I like that! Christie took control of the situation as a gentleman would and put the bully in his place. The other attendees obviously agreed with him (follow link for video). We need to see more of that style of authoritarian leadership in our society.
I’m here to applaud such gallantry in men; it’s my hope that it spreads like wildfire!
Tina: “Sadly, in some instances, males even look away when a woman or girl is being beaten or raped simply because they have not been taught to be chivalrous.”
I would say that someone who looks away when anyone, male or female, is being beaten or raped doesn’t simply lack chivalry; they lack basic human decency.
“In fact men are less likely to stop bullying of any kind with the advent of “tolerance” and “anger management” adopted as preferable methods of training.”
I don’t think this is true. Anger management training can help people respond in different ways to bullying situations, but I don’t think it’s taught people to take a completely non-interventionist stance. I’m not sure what the scare quotes around the word “tolerance” are supposed to indicate, but in my experience people who really believe in tolerance are much more likely to stop bullying than those who do not.
As for this incident, what’s interesting to me is that the heckler’s comment was clearly sexist. One can interpret Christie’s response as being born out of feminism as much as chivalry.
Not that they’re complete opposites. I do have somewhat of a chivalrous bent myself, even though I consider myself a feminist. But I also believe we should stand up for anyone who is wronged, regardless of gender. Perhaps Christie would have responded the same way if a male colleague was maligned; I don’t know. Either way, we need to acknowledge that all people deserve respect, and many who do not aspire to or appreciate the notion of “chivalry” still manage to do this quite well.
Chris: “I would say that someone who looks away when anyone, male or female, is being beaten or raped doesn’t simply lack chivalry; they lack basic human decency.”
I would agree with you Chris! Common decency is taught first in the home. There was a time when decency teaching included chivalry toward women. In other words males were taught to be other than wild animals with basic self interest topping the charts in importance.
“Anger management training can help people respond in different ways to bullying situations, but I don’t think it’s taught people to take a completely non-interventionist stance.”
I don’t think it’s taught for that purpose either and I don’t nnecessarily think it’s a bad thing although I think it is sometimes used irresponsibly. The point is, anger management is a relatively new technique made necessary because too often these days men and boys are no longer receiving the nurturing training or encouragement they once did to support them in being both chivalrous and decent as human beings.
“As for this incident, what’s interesting to me is that the heckler’s comment was clearly sexist.”
Oh brother. This is absolutely a political statement and nothing more. This guy is likely a disgruntled right winger who is comparing her to Awnuld in terms of her politics…Awnuld is a great disappoinment to many on the right. It has nothing to do with gender.
It’s possible for (male) feminists to be chivalrous…I’m not so certain it would go over well depending on the person being defended. I’m thinking of Barbara Boxer reprimanding the General for calling her ma’am, a term of deep respect in the military, and insisting that he call her Senator instead. Barbara might just turn on a guy in this situation…which is why men are reluctant (confused) about when to be decent and when to keep thier mouths shut.
Tina, if the comment wasn’t about gender, then the heckler wouldn’t have mentioned anything about a dress.
I’m not saying her gender was the heckler’s primary motivation–you’re right, it was about politics. But he used her gender as part of his insult, and that is sexist by definition.
One can argue that chivalry too is sexist, in that it sets women as weaker than men and in need of being defended. I have mixed feelings on this, but I can see both sides.
I didn’t see Boxer’s request as a “reprimand,” and I can understand her desire to be called “Senator,” since that is her title. But I can see why you would interpret that differently.