Alabama – Hell Yes, We Have Electricity!
Alaska – 11,623 Eskimos Can’t Be Wrong!
Arizona – But It’s A Dry Heat.
Arkansas – Literacy Ain’t Everything.
California – By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado – If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother.
Connecticut – Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don’t Own It Yet.
Delaware – We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida – Ask Us About Our Grandkids, And Our Voting Skills.
Georgia – We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii – Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
Idaho – More Than Just Potatos… Well, Okay, We’re Not, But The Potatos Sure Are Real Good
Illinois – Please, Don’t Pronounce the “S”
Indiana – 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas – First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky – Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana – We’re Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, but That’s Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine – We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland – If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts – Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s and Our Senators Are More Corrupt!
Michigan – First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota – 10,000 Lakes… And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi – Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies,
and Honest Elections!
Nebraska Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey You Want A Motto? I Got Yer Motto Right here!
New Mexico Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney… And No Right To Self Defense!
North Carolina Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio At Least We’re Not Michigan
Oklahoma Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon Spotted Owl… It’s What’s For Dinner
Pennsylvania Cook With Coal
Rhode Island We’re Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn’t Actually Surrender Yet
South Dakota Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum.
Texas Se Hablo Ingles
Utah Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont Ay, Yep
Virginia Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?
Washington Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!!
West Virginia One Big Happy Family… Really!
Wisconsin Come Cut The Cheese!
Wyoming Where Men Are Men… And The Sheep Are Scared
&
The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place!