Texas Translations of California Euphemisms

CALIFORNIA – TEXAS

An Arsenal of Weapons – A Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands – Swamp
Undocumented Worker – Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials – Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery – Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed – Well Protected
Narrow Minded – Prudent

Taxes or Your Fair Share Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives Fireworks or Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity Socialism
Multicultural Community High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Justice Marxism
Excessive, Change Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle Scoped Deer Rifle
Investment For the Future Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater Conservative
Truants Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
Religious Zealot Church Going
Reintroduced Wolves Sheep and Elk Killers
Fair Trade Coffee Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or “The Rich ” Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby NRA Members
Assault Weapon Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage Legalized Perversion
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs