From Marine Corps Times. . .
Marine Corps Times is a family newspaper and we only rarely have offensive language in our stories.
But this week the word “fart” appears in a story I wrote about the importance of trust between Marines and the Afghan national army soldiers they work with.
I didn’t want to write this little blog entry about farts. It’s not even on my beat. But my colleague Dan Lamothe, whose byline you have seen here quite often, shamed me into it.
“You owe it to all Marines,” he told me.
So here’s the news: audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.
I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don’t seem normal to Americans and it’s hard to spend seven months working in someone else’s back yard. Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.
They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).
But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.
So, for all Marines getting ready to go downwind, I mean downrange, be forewarned — you may have to hold it in… at least until you get back to your hooch where you can loudly crop dust your friends.
You must make an effort to catch “Wait Wait …” every week. The show is most instructive. It’s not farts, per se … it’s noisy farts.
You can be as smelly as you like, so long as you bear down on the gaseous sputters.
Along these lines, you just haven’t lived until you’ve been cubie-mates with a naturalized Asian. Blowing the nose is just not done, apparently … but snuffling snot every 90 seconds all goddamned-day-long is perfectly acceptable.
I will be moving to Idaho … so I will.
Idaho…now there’s a progressive state!
In the 2008 election the vote was 403,012 for John McCain and 236,440 votes for Barak Obama.
I can’t imagine that it has gotten more progressive since then. But who knows, Libby, you seem to enjoy a challenge!
When I read this, the first thought I had was to tell the Afghans to ‘Blow it out their @#$’
Once upon a time … you didn’t talk sex, religion, or politics in public … and you could live anywhere you liked.
Ah, for those Jane Austen Days ….