Congressman Bob

by Jack Lee

Notice: This story is based on current events. Some of the names have been changed and others are the real people involved in today’s news. The Congressman from the 27th District is a purely fictional character.

It was almost 14 months after the November election and a dangerous riff is developing between the freshmen representatives and the old guard.

They were a lot like Bob when they started their careers in Congress. They had the same kind of fire and idealism, but Washington changed them. Those that survived election after election did so because they blended in well. They listened to their mentors and they learned that what voters say and what voters really want are often two different things. But, being flexible, being a team player, that was the real key to survival in Washington.

A female secretary’s voice interrupted Bob’s thoughts as he studied HR 964, to extend unemployment benefits to 5.3 million people. “Sir, Senator McCauley is here to see you.” Great, send him in! “Howdy Bob, nice to see you again! How’s Midge and the kids?” Just fine Senator and they all said to say hi to “Uncle Bill” and Mindy said thank you again for the Ipod. That was very nice of you, but now we can’t get her off the phone! (he chuckles) “What is she, 15 now?” No, actually that was her 17th birthday. “Well, they sure grow up fast don’t they Bob?” Yes they do indeed, so what brings the ranking Senator from Kentucky to the Cannon building? (The Cannon building was constructed in 1908 and its also the living quarters for about 1/5th of the new representatives)

“That’s what I liked about you Bob, you get right to the point just like your Father, God rest his soul. Bob, we’ve get a small problem. As you know there are 435 members of Congress and we own 297 of those seats. 85 of those seats are now freshmen and of those 69 are republicans, including you. That’s a historic number of new representatives Bob and that’s okay, I wish you lots of success, but you folks have a lot to learn. Some of your blunt talk recently has grabbed the attention of the media and it’s making some people a little nervous. Since, you seem to be the man most of these new folks are looking to for leadership, well, that’s why I’m here.”

I don’t get it Sir, I’m not a leader of anything except the 27th Congressional District. I’ve only been in this job a year and I’m still just trying to get myself educated and process all this pending legislation.

“Bob, that’s my point…education! A month ago you laid into old Bud Hamstead in committee over this Paul Ryan budget and Bud’s been a party faithful for over 46 years. You don’t do that without causing yourself a whole lot of trouble! Now, I know Bud can be pretty full of himself at times. But, he’s a good man and he carry’s a lot of weight in Congress. You insulted this man Bob, maybe not intentionally, but you did anyway and now we’ve got to make peace or you’re going to create some serious resistance for yourself, unnecessary resistance. That could hurt your career and I don’t want to see that happen Bob, you’re like family.”

Senator that was not my intention, I was merely trying to explain that the Paul Ryan budget is worth pursuing. But, even with all it’s cuts it still grows the deficit and it’s going to be almost 20 years before we get a balanced budget. It barely cuts one dollar from every two hundred spent on borrowed money. If we can’t do that much to curb the runaway spending… why are we even here? The deficit is going to ruin this country and people like Bud Hamstead and all his pork bills are killing us.

Look, I ran my campaign on cutting back the size and scope of government. I promised my people I would… the Senator interrupted. “Bob, please, if I may, what the people really want are their entitlements, forget all that Tea Party crap! This is the voice of experience talking here. You go doing some slash and burn, cutting this and cutting that and you will find yourself up for recall just like Governor Sam Brownback of Kansas or Maine’s governor, Paul LePage. They went too far in cost cutting Bob and their careers are at risk come June. And let me tell you about another one. She was a lot like you, and her name is Linda Smith.

She was a Congresswoman from Washington State. They referred to her as the Mom in tennis shoes in her very first race. It was kind of a fluke that she was elected, but that’s another story. The point here is, she got defeated after serving only one term in Congress and you know why Bob? Because she did not have a well financed campaign war chest to fend off the competition. The next candidate that came along basically bought the race right out from under her. She made a fatal mistake when she refused to take large campaign contributions from our regular donors. She wouldn’t work them Bob, she wasn’t flexible. Sure, she stood on her so-called ethics, and look where that got her! Her career was over before it started.

What voters rally around Bob is a winner, somebody who can do something for them and money talks Bob. Believe me and it takes big money to run campaigns as you should darn well know and it’s getting more costly with every election. So you have to be flexible and work the people who can really help you. Linda didn’t do that.”

Sir, with all due respect, you keep talking about money and careers and all that and that’s not why I ran for office. I don’t want a career in politics and I don’t want to be beholding to anyone except the people I represent. I want to do what’s right, maybe do a few terms and then get out.

As for Brownback and LePage, they are under fire because of special interests, the unions, not the average voter. That’s why they are facing this phoney recall. I don’t know who this Linda Smith is, but she sounds like my kind of woman and it was our country’s loss when she lost.

“Bob, you hold it right there. She was a loser… period! She never got one piece of legislation through. Never. Is that what you want for a legacy, to be a loser? She made such a stink over our campaign contributions that nobody wanted to work with her, we couldn’t trust her. She was a loose cannon and she was dangerous.

Bob, if you don’t know already, at least a third of our legislation is crafted by lobbyists for major special interests and like it or not, they’re the people who keep you and me in business. You owe them Bob and you owe it to yourself to stick around long enough to do some good for your party! You won’t change anything if you start bucking the system or if you start embarrassing your senior colleagues by calling them out on things like not cutting enough to balance the budget. That’s fairy tale stuff anyway. We’re never going to have a balanced budget, that’s not how it works.

Washington has it’s own way of doing what must be done, and 85 freshmen representatives or a 185 freshmen won’t change that – Washington changes you or you are gone and that’s the cold hard reality here. But, it’s not all bad. You can still do good things and make a name for yourself, but you must be flexible. You must learn that Bob, be flexible and learn who your friends are and do it fast. You can’t buck this system. If you try your party will turn on you in a heartbeat and you’ll find yourself walking down the road wondering what happened? Am I making myself clear?” Perfectly. Bob replied softly, which belied the anger that whelmed inside him.

Sir, I know you are busy man and want to think you for stopping by. I’m sorry if I put you on the spot, that was not my intention. The tall young Congressman stood up and walked the senator over to the door. “I’m glad we had this little talk Bob. I’m going to call Bud and tell him you’ve had a change of heart on the Ryan budget and you will go with whatever the party wants.” Thanks Senator, but that won’t be necessary. I’m not changing my mind and ol Bud can shove it. (Then he really lost it) Senator have you stopped to consider why there were so many new representatives elected last election? This country is on the brink of an economic meltdown and people are scared and angry! They feel sold out and helpless. For too long, too many of you old school bureaucrats have been self-serving and not serving the nation. You have been doing what is good for you and not what is good for our country.

You better figure it out and quick, because the people are fed up. This country is being torn apart because you old politicians seem to lack the courage, or the will, to do what is right and what must be done. And as for those 85 freshmen, well, that’s just the beginning. Next term we’ll have more and more new senators too! Change is coming.
This is a fight to restore America and we have no intention of losing! I’m all in and I am ready and willing to risk everything I own to save this nation. Now good day Sir! Oh, and one last thing… expect an Ipod in the mail! (the old wood door slammed shut).

Facts: The Paul Ryan budget was the best the GOP has proposed to date, however it was attacked by many members of the GOP as too draconian, even though wouldn’t see a drop in the deficit until the year 2040! The current Republican Congress is indeed fractured over how to reduce spending and some are seeming not interested at all and are doing business as usual. It is also a fact that about a third of our laws have lobbyist fingerprints all over them and much more is probably the reality. “The average American doesn’t realize how much of the laws are written by lobbyists” to protect incumbent interests, Google CEO Eric Schmidt told Atlantic editor James Bennet at the Washington Ideas Forum. “It’s shocking how the system actually works.” Lastly, Linda Smith is a real person and her story is true. I knew her back then and she was a very decent person that money couldn’t buy.