by Jack
By now you are probably aware the Chico City council approved a ban on plastic bags in favor of paper bags. (See ER Headline “Bags be gone: Plastic bag ban plan moves ahead on 5-2 vote” (on page one today).
If we use plastic we’re being a bad citizen, because plastic bags are trashing the town and if we use paper we’re being a bad citizen, because it’s destroying the forest! And if you use one of those bulky canvas bags over and over, it builds up bacteria and that could make you sick.
What’s an environmentally conscience person to do?
Have no fear the underwear bag is here! Introducing the new Chico approved underwear bag, you can wear it and also use it to bag your groceries, but you can’t do both at the same time. A warning label is attached so you don’t make that mistake, because we know some of you will. And don’t wear your underwear bag one day and then try to use it the next day as a bag…no, no, no, your courtesy clerk won’t like that! Again, read that the warning label!
How does this miracle of science work? It’s quit simple! We use extra long legs in your boxers, gender neutral of course, and then we add either Velcro or button snaps, fold the legs closed and walla… you’ve got yourself a grocery bag! And the fatter you are the better, because XXX sizes can hold a whole shopping cart full of groceries.
I know what you’re thinking….so what does one do with a dirty underwear bag? You toss it right in the washer with your other clothes! Suddenly life has become so simple…and you will love the colors, progressive pink, radical red, Marxist maroon and Bolshevik blue!
These will soon be offered at City Hall for just $19.95 and the proceeds will be used to pay off the $6 million dollar debt the city owes the state over misspent RDA funds.
Was there ever a doubt they would ban the grocery bags? Never mind they are already recycled. I guess I will have to buy my small garbage bags. EGAD!
The resuable are a pain in the butt, Washing them often.
I saw a guy proudly putting his reusable bags on the counter of Raleys, they were dirty.
not good.
…and if we use paper we’re being a bad citizen…
Not if you’re on welfare…er…sorry…food stamps…er…sorry…not if you’re on SNAP…sorry…I gotta get my PCness up to date here…
You see our rulers will make the retailer a criminal if he/she gives us a plastic bag BUT our rulers will allow the retailer to give us a paper bag as long as we are TAXED 10 cents per bag.
BUT if you are a SNAPper you don’t have to pay the tax.
If paper bags are also environmentally irrepsonsible why do SNAPpers get a pass?
Is this yet another example of the gummit subsidizing irresponsible behavior???
This whole outlaw and tax grocery bags issue is beyond insane.
Shivering Schwabsicles! Schwabbie and her STF is going to cram this one down our throats, and it makes no difference what we think or how stupid this whole thing is.
May I suggest that they also make them in Commie Red. I am sure there will be a huge demand for that color.
I refuse a plastic bag whenever its convenient. I recycle and reuse plastic as often as possible. Bagging this bunch should be the ultimate fix and I can’t help in the effort because of where I live. Though I am without representation I am still subjected to this tyranny (as well as certain taxes). Bah!
I do know one thing…shopping locally will become a less convenient and therefore a less pleasant/desirable adventure.
Tina, in all seriousness now…If folks would tie plastic bags in a knot it keeps them from blowing all over the place at the land fill, this would help enormously. That’s all we have to do. We don’t have a plastic bag problem, we have a people problem who don’t dispose of them properly (litter).
If we didn’t have so many bums pushing shopping carts around dumping their trash wherever they feel like it, that would help a lot too.
Sue, that’s one I forgot to mention, or we maybe we should include radical red? lol
These will soon be offered at City Hall for just $19.95 and the proceeds will be used to pay off the $6 million dollar debt the city owes the state over misspent RDA funds.
I want mine with a big picture of Schwab right on the derrire.
Joseph, I’m told the ones with pictures will be out next month, there’s a reservation list …I’ll put you down for one Schwab.
I cant begin to tell you how mad I am about the plastic bag ban. The city has far bigger problems than this this kind of nonsense. Chico is on the brink of severe financial problems. We just got a bill from the state of $11 Million for misappropriating funds, and the City treasurer isn’t giving complete reports. These kind of things are more important than telling the supermarkets how to bag groceries.
I reuse most of my plastic bags for kitchen trash, to line waste baskets, collect trash when I’m out hiking, pick up dog poo, carry wet bathing suits, etc..
After a picnic how am I going to clean up? I’m not going to put banana peels and such in my nice clean backpack. Guess I’ll just leave them behind.