- How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro – what a rip off!
• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
OK, Henny and Rodney.
The greatest unintentional comic for this millennium must be Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
Defeating Nazis Is Blueprint For Defeating Global Warming
Not even Lippy can top this material.
The Party of Science
Because progressives belong to the Party of Science, they may wish to visit some of their like-minded fellow partisans at Catland Books, where they can also take a few courses: Demonology 101, Plant Magik [sic] 101, or Potions & Tinctures 101, which all are on the current schedule. Everything seems to be 101 — that’s a lot of introductory classes, a lot of foreplay for a master’s course in horsesh**…
Occasionally, our friends on the left do us the favor of making plain that which conservative critics have inferred about their ranks: that they are intellectually unserious, that they are damaged, that they are high on rage, that they have made a religion of politics.
So writes Kevin D. Williams in the must read piece The Witches of Bushwick about the hilarious hex session to “make Kavanaugh suffer.”
Do these witches sound like anyone you know? (A flaming socialist nut-job neighbor of mine who considers herself an accomplished astrologist and a witch is no doubt working her “Juju.” Seriously.) Sometimes you just cannot help but laugh as The Party of Personal Destruction will believe anything and will try anything. Sad, yes, but still funny.
From the You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up Unless You Are a Democrat department. Have a good laugh.
Warren Took DNA Test to Help Rebuild ‘Trust in Government’
I swear I can feel half the Cherokee Nation cringe and the rest break out in gut-busting guffaws.