PGA 2020 RULE CHANGES IN EFFECT FOR GOLFERS AGE 62+
Rule 9k.34– If a tree is between the ball and the hole, and the tree is deemed to be younger than the player, then the ball can be moved without penalty. This is so because this is simply a question of timing; when the player was younger, the tree was not there so the player is being penalized because of his age.
Rule 1.a.5– A ball sliced or hooked into the Rough shall be lifted and placed on the Fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the Rough with no penalty. The senior player should not be penalized for tall grass which ground keepers failed to mow.
Rule 2.d.6– A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed NOT to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree, and play the ball from there.
Rule 3.B.3– There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, thereby making it a stolen ball. The senior player is not to compound the felony by charging himself with a penalty.
Rule 4.c.7– If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The Law of Gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.
Rule 5. – Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the Hole. No one wants to make a mockery of the game.
Rule 6.a.9– There is no penalty for so-called “out of bounds”. If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The senior player deserves an apology, not a penalty.
Rule 7.G.15– There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. Senior players should not be penalized for any shortcomings of the manufacturers.
Rule 8.k.9– Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new golf equipment. Since this is financially impractical for many senior players, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.
Please advise all your senior friends of these important rule changes and keep multiple copies in your golf bag. Those not following the rules need to be provided a copy.
Golf is…above all…a game of integrity.
OK who posted this? (It’s gotta be Cherokee Jack.) Don’t be shy, this is hilarious and a perfect parody/description of the woke culture.
Not me, Pie. Don’t they keep alligators at golf courses?
A golf course is a waste of a perfectly good rifle range.
HAH! Now yer killin’ me. I almost spit up my Sunday night martini.
RHT447: It just occurred to me the two sports could be combined. One to hit the ball, the other to shoot it down. Should multiple shot loads be allowed or not?
Ya know, I have seen more than one proposal discussed. For example–
Golfer tees off. Shooter can either 1) stand with back to golfer and at the sound of driver making contact with ball, turn and attempt to engage ball in the air with shotgun, (one shot allowed) or 2) let the ball come to rest, and engage with gun of shooters choice (one shot allowed). One shot allowed because golfer only gets one swing. Shooter may load as many rounds in guns as they want. Shooter will engage balls at rest from same spot golfer took his stroke. Any position allowed (standing, sitting, prone). Competitors may dress in drag—nooo, I just made that part up. Wait–Whut?
These rules apply at every golf stroke. For balls at rest, handguns may be used at any distance. Rifles can be used at 25 yards and beyond. Scopes can be used 100 yards and beyond. Drones allowed to track your balls (run with that line as you will).
Scoring procedures TBA. Still working out issues fixing divots on the greens.
This could be even more fun if black powder revolvers were used.
Now there’s and idea!
A few times in my youth, I hunted Rock Chucks in large rock piles with a repro 1851 Colt Navy in 36 caliber. This only works once a season, early on when the young ones are curious and pop up mere yards away to take a look at you. Some pool table techniques and bank shots were employed.
And of course after 18 holes, competitors could repair to the swank clubhouse for R & R, trailing Sulfur fumes.
Speaking of black powder–
Video starts part way in, so move slider to start. Note puff of smoke on ridge skyline, and first round clips top out of dead tree. Old APC is target.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL1DkrYL70s#t=18
Now go re-read about Pickett’s charge.
Re Video: Hot damn. Now we’re talking some real golf course action.
EXCELLENT! Those who don’t play golf may not understand. I like the idea of combining the two sports. Makes much more sense than the current idea of allowing trans-men to compete as women!
Re all comments thus far —
Let’s see. Golf, shotguns, black powder firearms/ordnance and alligators. If we get making moonshine into the mix we’ll be talking either a great weekend retreat or pitching a concept for a cable TV channel.