by Jack
Ah, to travel in Europe among the most cultured people in the world! What a treat. The art, the history and all that magnificent ancient architecture! Those quaint cobble stone streets and narrow alley ways, it’s all so, so historic! Everywhere you look it seems there are great stone buildings, hundreds of years old. The typical awe lasts about 20 minutes or until your first rude encounter with a local or the first restaurant rip-off and your travel experience starts going downhill from then on until you leave. Of course I’m being a little snarky.
Europe really is a great place to travel despite the occasional rude encounter and those pricey hotels and cafe’s. Having been there, I can honestly say that most of the people you’re likely to encounter are pretty nice, and they mostly speak English too. But, there’s also a side of Europe worth knowing, one that doesn’t get covered in the travel brochures.
Here’s a few thoughts and tips based off my own travel experience. Hope you enjoy them, but if it persuades you to see America first, then my work will not have been in vain! Honestly…you really should see America first. We have a spectacular country for sightseeing and museums that rival the best in Europe too. Okay, now my rant.
Too many Europeans have American’s sized up before you ever get off the plane. In their minds, you’re somewhat improved from Americans decades back, but you are still basically lacking in all the social graces they have in great abundance. (I know you’re not) It’s disgusting to see a clod like yourself with so much money too. And they are only too happy to liberate you from your cash. The first assault may come sooner than you expect in the form of pickpockets working airports and train stations and wherever tourists go. There are all kinds of cons and sharks eagerly waiting to fleece a mark during the peak tourist season, that would be our summer months. Airfare, hotels, etc., are all jacked up about 40% during the peak season.
Sit in an outdoor café in Paris and order a lunch with just a small glass of water. Lunch is going to cost you at least twice what you would pay for a comparable dish back home. Special note: The water comes in an 8 oz. bottle…now hold on to your wallet, that dinky water bottle is going to cost you $3.50! What a rip. The waiter may ask, “Would you like gaz with your “eau” (water)?” Wha…gaz? Hey bunky, gaz is just carbonated water and it’s no extra charge. Free gaz in your $3.50 water, big deal. Hmmm…I think somebody has a racket going here, selling tourists bottled water by the ounce, and they can get away with it because to drink the tap water is to get an instant case of the trots, often coupled with projectile vomiting. So you gladly pay the $3.50, $7.00 if you are actually thirsty. Want a little ice in your water, watch out, now you are back to drinking tap water.
Europeans never use much ice, you might get two cubes, if you are lucky. They think too much cold “eau” going down the pipe will cause a heart attack, its just an urban legend…but drinking their tap water might.
If you are travelling by car those cobble stone streets will be getting pretty tiresome by the second day. Hard to focus the camera in the car while you’re travelling across a bed of rocks, actually it’s hard to even focus your eyes after awhile…bumpity, bumpity, bumpity and soon you’re cross eyed. (I’m kidding, its not quite that bad)
The lines into historic museums, cathedrals and former castles will have your feet swelling as fast as your bladder, 
because all the toilets are inside. After a half hour you may be lucky enough to actually get in, you quickly ask the first official looking person you can find in bad French, “oùsont les toilettes ? He points to a door, and you make a mad dash inside only to discover there’s a toilet monitor inside and he (or she) demands 25 Euro cents to do your business. No pay – no pee pee! Hey, if you’re expecting some degree politeness because you are an American traveler forget it – ain’t gonna happen at this level. Maybe at the Che’ Michelle drapier on the Rue d’Harve, but in 99% of the tourist places in Europe…no way.
As a casual tourist, you may not notice the high prices Europeans pay for their goods, but stick around long enough to buy clothes, food , a car or if you are so inclined…a house, and you will soon get a rude awakening. This is the part I love the most…the awakening, not the rude part. It’s laughable when our American liberals are suddenly chagrined to discover the high costs of socialism that eats up their tourist dollars!
You will soon discover that tax isn’t displayed on the cash receipt in most EU countries. You just see the price, the tax has already been included (hidden). How much tax, you may wonder? Depends on what you are buying. If you are purchasing a pair of Nike running shoes (expect to pay around $140 USD at budget stores) the sales tax is 21% of the price. The same shoes at Big 5 will sell for about $70, they gotcha on price and on tax. If you are buying a car the tax really goes up… 41%! And you wonder why the Europeans drive around in those little tooter cars? That’s why, plus the tax built in to gasoline ranges between 56% to 68%. Hint, don’t rent an SUV that gets 10 MPG in Europe unless you brought a suitcase just to carry your Euros.
There are all kinds of hidden costs for those who actually live in Europe and it really cuts into ones bank account. For example, do you trade stocks? In Europe, just for the privilege of doing some trading, doesn’t matter if you make a dime, you will pay 1% on the dollar value of said trade. Not too bad, but consider since stock trades are typically in large amounts imagine that a $100K in stock purchase equals $1000 in financial trade tax. It does add up. Don’t be surprised if our democrats don’t push for a financial transaction tax too!
The average tax on the middle class in France is about 30% in most EU countries, 41% for the next bracket up. Income tax in France is about average for many EU countries, but more than here.
Would you like to own a home in the South of France? Well, expect to pay a sales commission between 5-10%. Of course you need to have the property surveyed, that typically will cost between $900-2000 USD for a Chartered building surveyor. Next, you must pay the Notaires fee and taxes on the principle at the rate of 6-8% of the sales price. (That’s stiff!!!) A mortgage is a very convoluted process, but the fees are fairly similar to what you would expect in the USA, they just have a very byzantine way of calculating your payments. I don’t think any two consecutive payments will ever be the same over the life of the loan. It’s weird.
There is local inhabitant taxes too for your domicile. A tiny home of about 900 s.f. in Normandy will cost you about $550 USD for property tax payable January 1st of each year. Home owners insurance is mandatory in France and for a home of this size expect to pay about $375 a year. Would like to have a TV in your new home? An Ariel Tax is about $165 a year. Water rates for this home are typically $90 per month. Gas and electrical are at comparable rates to California. If you have a septic tank, fosse septique, you must pump it every 4 years and that runs about the same as in California, only we don’t force you to pump it every 4 years.
Did I mention banking fees? Banks in the EU have a lot of fees, nobody gets a checking account for free, that’s unheard of and France is no exception. Fees vary, but on a typical transfer between banks of a $1000, you will pay a fee of about $50. Almost anything you do with a bank will have a fee attached to it. The privilege of having a debit card in France will cost you about $12 a month. 
Travelling to ( or living in) Europe is not bargain that it is here by any measure. As bad as we think things are in the U.S. of A it only takes a trip across the big pond to convince you it’s not so bad here after all. Which makes me wonder why our loyal liberals are always wanting to change us to a European style democracy (socialist)? We didn’t get where we are in this world by being socialists. Right now those European countries are operating very close to bankruptcy thanks all their tax and spend wealth shifting. And that is the best lesson here, its what too much taxation and too much government will do for you. (Hope Libby reads this)
Adieu mes amis… Voir l’Amérique d’abord! -Jacque Lee