A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch” he said. “How much will you charge me?”
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, “How about $50?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint, brushes and everything she would need were in the garage.
The man’s wife hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she not realise that our porch goes all the way round the house?”
“That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?” he responded.
The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes.”
A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already??” the startled husband asked.
“Yes” the blond replied, and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.
“Thank you” the blonde said, “and by the way, it’s not a Porch, it’s an Audi”.
More humor is OK by me. The two worn out jokes, Dewey and Chris, just aren’t enough.
Delightfully funny!
Here’s a dumb blond joke from a natural blond.
Why are most dumb blond jokes one-liners?
So men will understand them.
Now that is funny Peggy!
Pie, Yokes on you. What kind of person is so full of hate they hang on to name calling those who disagree with them?
That is exactly case in point. Hate is not American. Name calling is childish and this kind of behavior is going to lose another election to the white house.
Blueberry Pie for all! on the Dewster
Hey Dewey, it was a joke!
Lighten up. Geeeezzzz!
Dear, sweet Dewey. You called me a bully. Is that not name calling? I am not a bully. If I were a bully I would beat the crap out of you, take your lunch money, pants you in the main quad of whatever grade school it is that you attend, and give you swirlies in the toilet of the girl’s bathroom.
By the way Dewey, you also keep labeling me a “hater” which is neither accurate nor fair. Dear Dewey I hate many things, including injustice, racism, bigotry, and the big evils — evils, communism, totalitarianism,, . I also love many things but who hates more than you? Think about it.
I asked this before and I’ll ask it again …
Open question — In the comedy team of Dewey and Chris, who plays the dumb one?
Dear, sweet Dewey. You keep calling me a bully. Is that not name calling? I am not a bully. If I were a bully I would beat the crap out of you, take your lunch money, pants you in the main quad of whatever remedial grade school it is that you attend, and give you swirlies in the toilet of the girl’s bathroom.
Sweet Dewey, you also keep labeling me a “hater” which is neither accurate nor fair. Is that not a form of name calling? Is that not a hateful slur?
Dear Dewey it is true, I hate a great many things. I hate the big evils — injustice, racism, bigotry, poverty, communism, totalitarianism, fascism, and so called “progressives.” (I also hate oatmeal.)
I also love a great many things, like the constitution, our tripartite way of government, our judicial system, our system of law enforcement, individual human freedom, free speech, and free market capitalism (or its best possible approximation) to mention a few. (I also love a nice thick steak cooked rare.)
But dear sweet Dewey, who hates more than you? Certainly not me. You hate everything I love. Think about it.
I asked this before and I’ll ask it again …
Open question — In the comedy team of Dewey and Chris, who plays the dumb one?
Somehow this @#$%&%! editing page posted my comment BEFORE I WAS DONE WITH IT! What the heck is going on here????
Jack, Tina, I could use some help here. I AM FED UP WITH THESE SYSTEM OF COMMENT SUBMISSION. There has to be a better way. Some how I keep hitting different sorts of short cut keys on the godawful Windows 8.1 Toshiba laptop pile of junk and it screws up editing.
Of course you cannot do anything about my system and my errors, but couldn’t a browser submission process that allows preview editing of a post before or editing after it is intentionally or accidentally submitted?
Please delete my next to last post in favor of the last if you can.
Addenda to the above —
There twice was a better way in these blogs. A preview system and a edit after submission system. Both were short lived. Why can’t either be reinstated?
Re: #8. A link just for Pie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjzJSRzBUuo
———————
Not long ago, there was this young tyke who had his heart set on being a pirate for Halloween. Trough no fault of their own, his folks wound up shopping for a costume at the last minute. The only pirate costume they could find was two sizes too big.
Well, with some safety pins, some tucks and folds, and some of mom’s make-up, they made it work. They stuffed the tri-corner hat with newspaper, and shiver me timbers, there stood a pint-sized pirate. Ahrrr-harrr!
Off they went through the neighborhood trick-or-treating. The young lad was having a grand time. Then he came to the door of one house, and a nice lady answered. Seeing his costume, she remarked “My, what a fierce pirate captain you are! Where are you’re buccaneers?”
The lad put his hands on his hips and took the stance of one grievously offended. Looking up he said “Under my buckin’ hat, lady!”
I just realized that all I have to do is delete my email address before I start composing and at least I will not get an accidental submission.
A hippopotamus, giraffe, and baboon walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “What is this, a joke?”
Pie: “Dear Dewey it is true, I hate a great many things. I hate the big evils — injustice, racism, bigotry, poverty, communism, totalitarianism, fascism, and so called ‘progressives.'”
I’d add to that list. A) I hate the fact that so many Americans (Is Dewey an American?) are so politically/economically ignorant they can hold opposing opinions on a subject and not even notice.
Love the joke at #12, Pie!
Tina: “I hate the fact that so many Americans (Is Dewey an American?) are so politically/economically ignorant they can hold opposing opinions on a subject and not even notice.”
Do you mean like believing that America is not a democracy, and that the recent gay marriage ruling threatens American democracy? Yeah, I hate when people do that. 😉
America was founded as a republic, period.
I have never claimed that the word democracy isn’t sometimes used to describe our republic, that was your big gotcha tool.
My point has always been that too many Americans don’t know or appreciate difference.
Threatens American democracy? As usual, you didn’t get what I wrote but instead projected your bias and attitude. You simply do not get it…too young and inexperienced perhaps.
Tina: “I have never claimed that the word democracy isn’t sometimes used to describe our republic, that was your big gotcha tool.”
Allow me to quote your exact words, from comment #19 of the following article:
“We don’t have a democracy nimrod (yes its name calling, so what!)…we have a republic!”
http://www.norcalblogs.com/postscripts/2014/06/07/entitlement-mentality-exposed/
Not only did you firmly state that we did not have a democracy, you even though someone had to be a “nimrod” in order to believe that we do.
Then, a year later, you wrote an article titled “Gay Marriage Wins But Does Democracy Lose?” in which you wrote that you “agree completely” with a quote from Scalia’s dissent in Obergefell. The first line you quoted was, “I write separately to call attention to this Court’s threat to American democracy.”
http://www.norcalblogs.com/postscripts/2015/06/26/gay-marriage-wins-democracy-lose/#sthash.AqziDqd1.dpuf
So when did you change your mind on this issue? Was it as a result of the previous discussions we had on the subject, in which I explained to you that a republic is a type of democracy? Would you like to apologize to Dewey for calling him a “nimrod” for calling America a democracy, since by that previous logic, you and Scalia are both also nimrods?
“Threatens American democracy? As usual, you didn’t get what I wrote”
You have got to be kidding. In what language does “threaten American democracy” not mean “threaten American democracy?” These were your exact words, Tina. (Well, actually, they were Scalia’s, but you said you “agreed completely.”)
Dodging the very clear meaning of your exact words isn’t new for you, Tina, but this may be a new low. You said you “completely agree” with Scalia when he wrote “I write separately to call attention to this Court’s threat to American democracy.” Naturally, I interpreted this to mean that you agreed that the recent gay marriage ruling threatened democracy, because that is what you said. Now you are blaming the only rational interpretation of your words on my bias, my attitude, my youth, and my inexperience.
I’m sorry, but that’s nonsense. The problem here is your inability to take responsibility for your own words, and your intellectual dishonesty in engaging with critiques of your position.
Chris quoting me, ““We don’t have a democracy nimrod (yes its name calling, so what!)…we have a republic!”
Our nation was formed as a republic. This is the truth. We were not formed as a democracy.
I repeat, I have never claimed that the word democracy isn’t sometimes used to describe our republic.
“Sometimes used!” This has nothing to do with the point that the nation was founded as a republic.
Get real Chris and learn how to communicate!
Chris quoting me: “I write separately to call attention to this Court’s threat to American democracy.”
Sometimes used! The nation was still founded as a Republic, something you should better understand and appreciate:
Bingo! The very progressive Chris loves the power of redistribution. “Mob rule” is how others describe governance in democratic nations. This is the signature of the democrat Party leadership!
I’m responsible for my words. I am not required to see things by your flawed view about what I have said.
Tina: “Our nation was formed as a republic. This is the truth. We were not formed as a democracy.”
Then why the frak did you write an entire article calling attention to a “threat to American democracy” three weeks ago my god
You are the one who won’t communicate, because you’re still ignoring my entire critique. You have made statements here that are in COMPLETE contradiction to each other, and you have yet to explain the contradiction.
You said people who describe America as a “democracy” are “nimrods.” I didn’t make that up. I’m not “interpreting” anything. You said that. You also said above that “We were not formed as a democracy.” That is as unambigious as it gets.*
You also said that you “agreed completely” with Scalia that the recent gay marriage ruling was a “threat to American democracy.” Again, that’s not my interpretation. That is what you said. You even put “Democracy” in the title of your article, so that everyone knew you thought that the ruling posed a threat to democracy.
How do you reconcile those two disparate positions? If you don’t believe America was formed as a democracy, why did you state that you agreed with Scalia when he said that the gay marriage ruling posed a “threat to American democracy,” and why did you title your piece “Gay Marriage Wins But Does Democracy Lose?”
Please explain this.
*It’s also false, as a republic is a type of democracy, which you already know. It’s like saying “I don’t drive a car, I drive a Pontiac Aztec.” A Pontiac Aztec is a type of care, and a republic is a type of democracy.