by John Citizen
“Situation Normal….All Fouled Up”
The Secretary of State for Texas today has announced the completion of the State elections Board investigation into voting irregularities during the “Sovereignty Act” referendum.
The States investigation concluded that while 2 precincts in rural areas along the border and 1 precinct in San Antonio did pass out pamphlets giving faulty directions to 2 polling stations, these pamphlets were recalled 2 days before the vote, with new pamphlets being sent out and ads being taken out on both TV and Radio stations in the precincts in an attempt to correct for the error. Precinct managers in all 3 precincts stated that there were individuals that had showed up to the wrong polling place, all of them were given directions to the correct polling stations along with a form to fill out for a provisional ballot if they were not able to make it by the close of polls. To date only 27 such provisional ballots were turned in.
Upon closer investigation of voting irregularities reported in Austin, San Antonio, Huston and Dallas, it was determined by the state that as many as 5 chapters of ACORN were complicit in voter fraud, as well as violations of State election law. One precinct in Austin which was being staffed by volunteers all of whom were volunteers for ACORN reported 473 ballots more than people registered in the precinct. Of the 473 ballots 470 of them were opposition votes to the Sovereignty act.
A total of 1,237 votes thus far have been determined to have been cast for individuals who are deceased. Of the 1,237, 1,178 were cast at polling places staffed almost exclusively by ACORN volunteers. Of the 1,237 illegal ballots 1,230 of them were opposition votes. In addition to these votes, other irregularities concerning absentee votes filled out by names such as Clint Eastwood, Britney Spears and even SpongeBob Square Pants numbered 975 with 947 of them opposition votes.
The grand total of ballots which are being revaluated or disqualified from consideration is currently 6, 784. Even though this number would not change the outcome of the historic turnout (total voting was 13.6 million), State officials believe it provides overwhelming evidence that ACORN as well as various other civic action groups were deliberately attempting to affect the outcome of the election through illegal activity. The State is also investigating activity by the AFL CIO after several reports filed by various union members gave detailed reports of intimidation and other tactics being used in order to affect an opposition to the act.
The State Department has reported that while close to 7,000 illegal votes were cast in the referendum, the amount of votes that were influenced by bribery, intimidation and other illegal activities could be much higher. The State has concluded that while both supporters and detractors from the act participated in illegal activities, those actions would not have been able to force a significant change in the overall outcome of the referendum. Nevertheless the State will be prosecuting anyone who it is determined willingly participated in illegal activity.
Representatives for ACORN were unavailable for comment.
(This report is a work of fiction)