End of the World Trip Insurance Available Here Now!

by Jack

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For a very limited time (2 days) Post Scripts is offering you trip insurance that will absolutely guarantee that if you are left behind when the world is ruptured on May 21st you and two of your most favorite relatives or friends will have safe passage on the second rupturing leaving at 6:30 pm. Just send us all the money you currently have in savings and checking, no checks, IOU’s, money orders or banc checks. Must send $100 bills, gold or silver coins, in large unmarked canvas bank bags in care of this URL.

You will instantly have our thanks, blessings and sincere assurances of a quick and fun filled journey to the eternal playground. And as a special bonus, for our jihadist Muslim readers, if you apply right now we will include 72 virgins at no extra charge!

But, wait there’s more… the first 100 people to respond will receive a set of Genzhu steak knives guaranteed forever and absolutely free. But, you must act now!

But, wait there’s more…if you bring in your gold in the next hour we will include absolutely free, one dozen Magic Pickerupper towels that soak up as much as 16 times their weight in liquid! These are made in Germany folks and you know the Germans make good stuff. Don’t delay, send us all your worthless cash now… operators are standing by to receive it! See terms and conditions below.

Terms and conditions: This offer is void where prohibited by law. Employees of Post scripts not eligible. Must be 18 and over. You must be an idiot to play. Odds of winning 900 trillion to the 1000th power to one. No animals were harmed in the making of this commercial.

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