Thanks to Peggy for this one…
This happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock story, it’s true.
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. No cars were traveling that night. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
CONT-
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stop. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door…. only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn’t on!!
The car started moving slowly.. John looked at the road ahead and saw
a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road. So, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to the pub.
Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody
about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and….wasn’t drunk.
Suddenly the door opened and two other people walked in from the stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath.
Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other…. ‘Look Paddy…there’s that freakin’ idiot that got in the car while we
were pushin’ it.
Good one!
A large, brilliantly plumed parrot was the celebrated center of attention in the forward bar of a large cruise ship. This talkative, bright, wise cracking bird was such an attraction that people signed on for the cruise simply because of him.
Every night the bar featured dancing and entertainment but the parrot always stole the show.
On one particular cruise an adept and renown magician took the stage three nights a week. The parrot keenly watched the magician’s act each night.
After a couple weeks of performances the parrot began interrupting the magician’s act.
When pigeons magically appeared out of thin air the bird squawked, “They were in his cape!”
When coins appeared between the magician’s fingers the bird announced, “They were in his other hand!”
After the parrot had learned every one of the magician’s tricks and proceeded to ruin them, the magician insisted the bird be locked up in the bar’s stock room during his performances.
After a few nights of blessed silence the magician was performing his show’s finale highlight. But the parrot had found a way to defeat the cage lock, sneak out of the stock room, and had escaped undetected into audience.
Upon the performance of the magicians finale, the bird flew up and screamed, “It was in his sleeve, it was in his sleeve!”
At that same moment the cruise ship hit an uncharted submerged reef and abruptly sank.
Hours later the magician woke up and found himself alone floating on a large piece of flotsam. To his surprise the parrot landed at one end and for days they drifted in silence.
Finally, one morning, the bird rose from his dark reverie and announced, “OK, I give up. What did you do with the ship?”
Two good ones in one day!