This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan, Canada.
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate and questioned his grandfather asking, ‘Are these plates clean?’
His grandfather replied, ‘They’re as clean as cold water can get em. Go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny.’ For lunch the old man made hamburgers. And again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, ‘Are you sure these plates are clean?’
The old man replied, ‘Those dishes are as clean as cold water can get em.
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass.
John yelled and said, ‘Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car’. Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted!
‘Coldwater, go lay down… now!
At the risk of appearing to be a grammar nit picker, the punchline should have read “Coldwater, go lie down… now!”
So wrong, lol.
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.
The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun….”I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00,” he says.
This catches the senior’s attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?” The senior doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it’s the senior’s turn. He asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?” The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net. He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, “Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, says “Beats me.” and goes back to sleep.
Att Jack & Tina. Here is the URL to watch the Republican Convention live via simulcast.
http://www.youtube.com/user/gopconvention2012/
I love it when a joke reflects a real life experience.
I have a friend in Montana who wasn’t the most spotless housekeeper in the world but she clean, very generous, and a barrel of fun. She lived out in the country and had a menagerie of dogs, chickens, geese, and a myna bird. she told me about a couple that kept dropping by every evening at dinner time. At first she graciously invited them to eat but after a few weeks it began to wear thin. She started dropping hints about the cost of groceries. It went right over their heads so she decided to try delaying dinner but they just stayed longer and sat down when the family could delay no longer. Nothing seemed to discourage the free loaders until one night when she got up from the table and promptly placed the dinner plates one by one on the floor for the dogs to clean up. As they finished a plate she would put it in the cupboard. The couple suddenly had to run along, had some place they needed to be, and they never darkened her door again.
Jack, Jack, Jack…ya need to be careful when you post this stuff…
You’re just going to get Chris and Libby up on their high horses demanding more regulations!