Planning for my family holidays is always a little chaotic.
Who is hosting? What to bring? Who will drive?
Usually my mother, my sister and I drive down to my aunt’s house for the big extravaganza. Sometimes we spend the night.
But this year my mother really, really, really wanted me to give my sister a ride.
“Would you, could you, would you please,” my mother asked via voicemail and text.
When I did not immediately respond, the inquiries became more persistent and pleading.
The big deal, I learned, is that my mother is bringing her new beau to the holiday — his first encounter with our curious clan.
Apparently, riding in a car with my sister and I for several hours might cause irreparable harm to my mother’s budding romance.
“In other words, you’re afraid we’ll embarrass you,” my sister and I each said on separate occasions.
A tempting situation
My first impulse was to be impish. I could assure my mother I would drive separately, but may very well embarrass her once everyone arrives.
Children are embarrassed easily. So it was easy for my sister and I to make a list of how many times our parents had embarrassed us as children.
We laughed so hard, and I was at work, that I embarrassed myself by laughing too loud in the newsroom.
Upon thoughtful consideration we decided it was not appropriate to publish the list in my column.
Plus, this will also be the first time my boyfriend will be joining us for the holidays. I’m glad my mother is bringing her new beau, so she will tell the rest of the extended family to behave themselves.
Where to go, who to bring, now what food to share
As is the tradition in many families, each person is usually asked to bring a side dish.
A few people are on special diets, so my aunt decided to handle it all, Mom said.
For example, my sister, who is vegan, was assured that only vegan foods will be served. And nobody really likes turkey, so my mother said we’re having a tri-tip roast.
Instead of side dishes, Mom advised we bring something that can be added to appetizer table or tucked into my aunt’s cupboard for her to enjoy later.
Perhaps this is a further example of my mother not wanting to be embarrassed, this time by our choice of side dishes.
However, it’s really a relief.
I can easily go to the farmer’s market and pick out a bunch of locally-grown, yummy nuts in about four different flavors. I’m guessing my relatives won’t save any to be tucked away in the cupboard.
While I’m at it, it’ll be easy to pick out a few jars of flavored olives, and I know my family will love some Northern California cheese.
Other family traditions
As much as I’ve been poking fun at my family, I’m really glad they’re mine.
They’re funny and opinionated and have lots of love to share.
If we know of someone who would otherwise spend the holiday alone, we are encouraged to invite them to join us.
At some point during the meal, Uncle Lars will have us all hold hands. We go around the circle and each share some things for which we are most thankful.
Maybe this year my mother will share that she’s thankful nobody embarrassed her.
